Privacy Guide for Domestic Violence Survivors

Leaving an abuser is one of the most dangerous moments in a survivor's life. Privacy isn't just about convenience—it's about survival. This guide will help you build a digital wall between yourself and someone who wants to find you, starting from the moment you decide to leave.

Before You Leave: Plan in Secret

Assume your abuser monitors your devices. Many do. Before making any privacy changes, use a device they've never had access to—a friend's phone, a library computer, or a new prepaid phone you hide.

• Do not search for shelters, lawyers, or privacy guides on shared devices
• Do not clear browser history (it signals you're hiding something)
• Use incognito mode on a trusted device only
• Consider that your phone may have stalkerware installed

Step 1: Get a Safe Phone

Your existing phone is likely compromised. Options for a safe device:

• Buy a prepaid phone with cash—never link it to your real name
• Ask your DV advocate—many shelters provide free SafeLink phones
• Use Wi-Fi only at first on an old device your abuser doesn't know about

Set up a new email address on the safe phone using a privacy-focused provider like ProtonMail. Do not access your old accounts on the new phone until you've left.

Step 2: Check for Stalkerware

Controlling partners often install tracking apps, hidden shortcuts, or iCloud/Google account access that lets them see everything. Signs include:

• Your abuser knowing things only your phone would reveal
• Unexpected battery drain
• Unknown apps you didn't install
• Being logged into your iCloud or Google account on devices you don't recognize

The Coalition Against Stalkerware (stopstalkerware.org) lists detection tools. When in doubt, don't use the device—factory reset only after you've safely left.

Step 3: Enroll in an Address Confidentiality Program

Most states offer an Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking. An ACP:

• Gives you a legal substitute address for all public records
• Keeps your real address off your driver's license, voter registration, and court documents
• Forwards mail from the substitute address to your real one
• Is free and available through your state Attorney General

Contact your state AG's office or ask a DV advocate. This is one of the most powerful legal tools available to survivors.

Step 4: Remove Yourself From Data Brokers

People search sites like TruePeopleSearch, Spokeo, WhitePages, and BeenVerified publish your home address, phone number, and the names of your relatives—often for free. An abuser can find you in seconds using any of them.

PrivacyOn provides continuous data broker removal across 100+ sites, 24/7 dark web monitoring, and ongoing re-submission when brokers relist you. We work with DV organizations to help survivors efficiently close these dangerous exposure points. Plans start at $8.33/month and include family coverage.

Step 5: Secure Your Financial Accounts

• Open a new bank account at a bank your abuser has no connection to
• Freeze your credit at Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion (free online)
• Change direct deposit at work—meet HR privately
• Watch for joint accounts they may drain
• Photograph important documents (ID, birth certificate, insurance cards) and store copies with a trusted person

Step 6: Lock Down Social Media

1. Block your abuser and their family/friends
2. Switch every account to private
3. Remove location data from past posts
4. Turn off location sharing on all apps
5. Ask friends and family not to tag you in anything
6. Consider deleting accounts entirely for a period

Step 7: Protect Your New Home

• Rent through an LLC or trusted third party if possible
• Don't list your new address on Amazon, Venmo, PayPal, or delivery apps
• Use a PO Box for all correspondence
• Ask your employer to keep your address confidential in HR systems
• Ask your children's school to restrict pickup permissions and flag the file

Step 8: Protect Your Children

Children are often used to find parents. Teach them, age-appropriately:

• Never share the new address or school name
• Never take photos inside the home for social media
• Tell a trusted adult if the abuser contacts them

Update school emergency contacts, activity sign-ups, and medical forms. Request court orders restricting information release.

Step 9: Document Everything

Keep a secure log of every incident, threat, violation of protective orders, and privacy breach. Store it in the cloud with a password your abuser cannot guess. This evidence is critical for court proceedings and safety planning.

Resources

• National DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or thehotline.org
• Safe Horizon: safehorizon.org
• National Network to End Domestic Violence Safety Net: techsafety.org
• StrongHearts Native Helpline: 1-844-762-8483
• LGBTQ+ DV resources: avp.org

You Deserve Safety

Privacy is power. Every step you take makes it harder for your abuser to find you, control you, or harm you. Work with advocates, move deliberately, and remember that this is your life to rebuild. We're here to help you close the doors.